The physical and hormonal changes our body experiences during pregnancy, birth and beyond, are huge. If you ever feel overwhelmed by emotion, it’s important to remember that you’ve been through a lot.

We’ve partnered with The Mum Club to explain why you might be struggling and to offer some helpful and easy-to-follow advice…

Is it Normal to Feel Low After Birth?

The feeling you get when your new little family returns home from hospital is just the best. If we could bottle and sell those ‘oh-so grateful’ emotions, we’d be loaded. But it’s also a bit like a giant wave has hit you. And with that, comes a rollercoaster ride of emotions that it is entirely normal to experience. 

What Are Baby Blues?

Having a baby can offset a whole range of emotions, such as euphoria, excitement, and a deep abiding love for the life you’ve carried into the world. But it can also trigger negative emotions. Baby blues are a common feeling that most mothers experience. The term refers to feelings of sadness, and you can feel weepy, be irritable towards your partner and loved ones, and even disconnected from the world around you. Medical experts state that baby blues usually occurs during the first week of pregnancy and is often confusing for women because the expectation is that we should feel jubilant and contented after having a baby.

What is Matrescence?

Alexandra Sacks, M.D. is widely recognised as the leading clinical expert on matrescence: the developmental transition into motherhood. In this video, she explains the change women feel as they become a mother. The way she explains the changes we go through, and the emotions we feel is so succinct and well worth watching.

Watch it here…

What Does Postnatal Depression Feel Like?

Many conflate baby blues with postnatal depression because the symptoms can be quite similar, but they are, in fact, two separate conditions. Women tend to experience postnatal depression 2-8 weeks after giving birth. And while baby blues symptoms don’t usually stop you from functioning and living your day-to-day life, postnatal depression can be debilitating and may even require medical intervention.

Why it’s essential to get help

Dr Carla Runchman is a Clinical Psychologist who also writes about the psychology of motherhood on her blog, Mama Diary. Speaking to The Mum Club, she says, “Whilst ‘baby blues’ in the first few days is normal, persistent low mood is not. This can look different for different people, but might typically include, feelings of hopelessness, struggling to feel connected with your baby, loss of appetite or eating more than normal, or feeling anxious or experiencing panic attacks.” If you’re currently feeling any of these symptoms, it’s crucial that you open up about it to your partner or a friend/relative. Although we recognise that it isn’t always easy to do so when you are in the thick it. Acknowledging that you’re finding life challenging is difficult, but once you allow those thoughts and feelings to be expressed, you are on your way to getting better and getting the help and support you need.

Get in touch with your health visitor, who will be well equipped to recognise the signs of postnatal depression and will be able to provide assistance. It’s also important to make an appointment with your GP so they can make an accurate assessment based on your symptoms. Treatments for postnatal depression include counselling or prescribed anti-depressants in some cases.

Other People You Can Talk to…

You might not feel comfortable speaking to a GP, Health Visitor or a family or friend. And often speaking to someone on the phone feels easier. That’s why PND awareness support group PANDAS has a free helpline that you can call.
0808 1961 776

Find out more

How You Can Help Your Mental Health

Serious cases of postnatal depression are best handled professionally, but there are some things you can incorporate into your daily life that benefit your mental state of mind.

Keep it Simple

In the first few weeks, while you are making adjustments and the demands are high, it’s the simple things that make a huge difference. Looking after your physical health by making sure you get a bit of food in you, and you get a little fresh air (even if that is only an open window). Try to make sure you and your partner create some non-negotiables like a daily shower, a nap and even a little peace and quiet – even if it’s just 15 minutes.
Sometimes there are lots of people who want to come and see the baby and while that is lovely, it can feel like too much. It’s OK to keep those visits to a minimum and just let yourself have some space and time.

Get out of the House

This is such an overlooked tip, but it’s so super important that you get out as often as you can when you have a baby. We know it can often take such a huge effort to get up, get dressed as well as get baby fed, dressed and watered (especially during the midst of the sleepless night’s stage), but trust us – the pros certainly outweigh the cons. Fresh air and daylight are awesome mood boosters. They release serotonin that stabilises your mood and ignite feelings of happiness and contentment. Similarly, walking is also beneficial to your well-being. It improves your sleep quality, elevates your mood, and reduces stress and anxiety.

Delegate tasks

With so much pressure from society to be perfect mums we take it upon ourselves to do everything around the house when we’ve just had a baby. From cooking organic meals, ensuring the house is spotless at all times, to catering to baby’s every whim – it’s no wonder that we’re often left feeling exhausted and deflated. Dr Carla explains why delegation is fundamental, stating: “You must ensure your basic needs are being met. Can someone look after the baby while you have a shower, take a nap or eat some delicious, nourishing food? These very simple acts of self-care can make all the difference to how you feel in the early, chaotic days after giving birth.”

Join Your Nearest The Mum Club

It often goes unsaid how terribly lonely those early months can be after giving birth. After the fun and excitement of friends and relatives popping round to meet your newborn quietens down, and your partner goes back to work after paternity leave – it’s often just you and baby. And of course, you adore your little Bubba to bits, that goes without saying, but the absence of day-to-day interaction with adults can be difficult to deal with. Joining a mother and baby group is an incredible way to meet and connect with women who are experiencing the exact same thing you are – the good, the bad and everything in between. Ensure you are signed up to our newsletter so you can be notified of upcoming events. And if we’re not in your area – we will be soon!

Find out more

Try Not to Compare

It can be easy to get caught up in comparing your situation with that of other people. Other children seem to be able to breastfeed easily. Other people seem to have nailed the sleep routine. Other people seem to find this really easy and I can’t even get myself in the shower.
The thing is, no two children are the same. Two sets of parents might do the exact same things and have different results. For example: a baby who struggles with gas more than another will find it hard to be settled after feeding. Two babies given the same amount of tummy time won’t start crawling at the same time. Try to keep your comparisons to a minimum, because they just aren’t fair.

Minimise Social Media Activity

While it can definitely be a force for good and connect us with like-minded individuals, endless hours of scrolling can indeed contribute to negative emotions such as social status anxiety, FOMO, unrealistic life expectations, anxiety, and depression. So keep your social media usage to a minimum.

Get. Some. Sleep. *When You Can

We can imagine the eye roll at this heading, but we’re going to say it anyway: quality sleep is essential to your wellbeing. Yes, we know when the baby sleeps it gives you the perfect opportunity to catch up on the washing, house chores, the latest episode of Sex Education. But please try and sleep. There are so many awesome physical and mental health benefits from sleeping. It moderates your stress levels, energises you, reduces inflammation, improves your concentration, and detoxifies your brain!

Talk, Then Talk Some More.

We can’t emphasise enough how important it is to talk to someone if you’re feeling low. Even if you feel it’s of little importance because your sadness only feels fleeting and surface-level – talk anyway. Most of us have experienced mental health challenges related to pregnancy and childbirth, and it’s high time we start normalising that.

Remember it is Just a Phase!

When your baby is waking every hour, or you just can’t get them to feed, sometimes it can feel like this is going to go on forever, and that can feel really bleak. However, things will improve. No matter what the phase is that you are in (not sleeping, not feeding, not responding) things get easier with time and everything passes. Remember: there is light at the end of the tunnel. It might be a very long tunnel, but the light is there all the same.